He is Good

I put all my hope on the truth of Your promise

And I steady my heart on the ground of Your goodness

When I'm bowed down with sorrow I will lift up Your name

And the foxes in the vineyard will not steal my joy

Because You are good to me

These lyrics are from the song "Good to Me" by Audrey Assad.  They sum up so much of what I've been learning and experiencing the last several weeks.  Sometimes life is hard, and sin - my sin and the sin of others - makes things messy.  I can't tell you how many times I've allowed despair to rule in my heart.  I've chosen not to believe the promise of God's goodness, and focused instead on how much I don't deserve that goodness.

I've been working through how to deal with emotions lately.  Emotions like despair, hurt, and anger.  I most definitely don't have it all figured out, but through it all, God has slowly showed me how to steady my heart on the ground of His goodness.  How to grab hold of His promises even when every feeling inside of me wants to convince me otherwise.  His Word is Truth, and I can stand on it. The hard things and the negative emotions might not disappear, but the promises in His Word are mine to stand on forever.

God has brought the end of Psalm 23 to my attention through several different means in the last week. Verse six says, "Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life..."  Even in hard times, God's goodness is there.  Even when I sin, God's faithful love is pursuing me.  Even when I hurt and my emotions are all over the place, the truth is that I'm not left alone.  I'm not without His goodness and mercy and love.  That's where I can put all my hope.  And that's why my sorrow is not wasted and my joy is not stolen, because through it all, He is good to me.

Overcome: Five Minute Friday

Overcome.  That word used to fill me with motivation to do what it takes to fight sin and my flesh and live on fire for God!  I resolved to do better and try harder.  I would overcome.

But today when I read that word, I realized that Jesus already overcame, and trying to pull myself up to do something He already did is pointless. 

The actual process of living out that victory that He won for me hasn't looked like I thought it would.  Lately, it's looked like Him chipping away at my heart.  He's tearing down things that I found my identity in.  He's showing me my pride.  He's letting me see where I have believed lies and had an incorrect view of Him.  It doesn't feel a lot like overcoming.

But in the middle of all of that, He's showing me His love for me in a way I never knew before.  And it's a pretty beautiful thing.  Slowly but surely He's giving me love for Him that makes me want to live for Him because of how amazing He is, not so that I can somehow earn His favor or make myself look good.

Maybe brokenness has to come first.  But since He already has overcome, I can rest in that and trust that He will finish His work in me.

Story - Five Minute Friday

There are parts of my story that I don't like.  When I look at it from a completely human perspective, there are times I'm tempted to despair!  I feel like I've messed it up too badly for God to use.  I've made it about myself.  I've chosen sin instead of God.  I've failed to serve those around me.  I've missed opportunities.

But God.

My favorite words ever.  He is so full of grace upon grace.  Last weekend at a retreat the speaker said that God, who is infinite (without measure), counts our sin.  But because He is infinite, so is His grace.  His grace, without measure, is so much greater than my sin. 

All the missed opportunities or the times I've made this life about me can be forgiven and redeemed.  When He forgives, it's for real.  I don't have to allow guilt or shame to take over.  When He redeems, it's beautiful and to the praise of His glorious grace!

"Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him!"

Praise be to Jesus for His amazing grace.  Praise Him that He is the One writing and redeeming my story. 

(Join the linkup here: http://fiveminutefriday.com/2017/10/05/day-6-story/)

Jesus Loves Me - And That Changes Everything

The Gospel changes everything.  Every part of my life is impacted by the fact that Jesus loves me and gave His life for me.  Because of the cross, I have my sin forgiven and I have the power to live a life pleasing to my Savior.  The Gospel changes me, and it changes the way I do life and interact with those around me.

Lately I've been thinking about how the Gospel informs the way that I interact with children.  Being a Christian means that the way I teach and love kids will look different than the way the world interacts with them.  My goal is not to teach behavior modification.  It's not to make them look like good kids so that everyone is impressed with how good a teacher I am (at least it shouldn't be).  It's not even to help them grow up to be successful in the world's eyes.  My goal is to point them to Jesus.

I want the kids in my life to know Jesus. Not a head knowledge, but an intimate relationship with Him.  I want them to know how loved they are by Him, and I desire that they grow in their love for Him. The point of teaching or disciplining them is not to force them to change their behavior and be "good" kids.  The point is to use each of those interactions to show them the Gospel.

This month's writing prompt over at Compassion is to share how being a Christian changes the way we care for children in poverty.  Compassion's goal is not simply to release children from poverty and educate them, but also to tell them that there is a God who loves them and died for them.

I love that I get to be a part of that by sponsoring a child through Compassion!  Carley gets to read letters from me that share with her how loved she is.  She gets to interact with my Sunday School kids and realize that there are other kids her age who love Jesus and love and pray for her.  It's a beautiful thing to get to watch as God works in her life, and I pray that she will learn to know and love Him!

Jesus loves me.  Jesus loves them.  And that changes everything!

Why?

Years ago I read the story of Amy Carmichael.  She sacrificed so much to go live in India and rescue little girls from a life of terrible slavery.  I was so inspired by her story, and reading about what she did in India only increased my desire to go there someday.

Over the years, I've learned that the slavery that Amy fought is still going on today.  It's something that I sometimes just push out of my mind, because the knowledge of what so many girls are going through is too much to bear.  But I don't want to push the thought aside anymore.  I can't just sit by and let it keep happening.  Amy made a difference for so many girls, and we can do the same.

This month's writing prompt at Compassion Bloggers is "why".  Why do I sponsor a child, and why do I want to use my blog to advocate for needy children around the world?

The reality of human trafficking is a huge part of why.  Without intervention, so many children who live in poverty will end up living as slaves.  They will be treated as less than human and abused in ways that I can't even imagine, unless someone steps up and does something about it.

Sponsoring a child offers him or her the tools needed to leave the life of poverty and slavery behind.  And even more, it gives so many opportunities to share the love of Christ and point them to the One who loves them and died to save them from sin.

When I went to India three years ago, I saw firsthand the difference that Compassion is making in the lives of children.  Those kids had hope, because they were being pointed to Jesus.  They had hope because they were being given the tools that they needed for a better future.  

That's something I want to be a part of, and I hope you do too.

Check out Compassion's website to learn more about how you can change a child's life!

https://www.compassion.com/

Also, check out this website for information about modern day slavery and what you can do about it: 

http://www.a21.org/content/human-trafficking/gl0ryw

The Life You Have

God has given me the gift of today.  He has blessed me with so many good gifts, but sometimes I'm so distracted by what He hasn't given me that I forget to be thankful for what He has.  I've been thinking about how to learn the secret of contentment.  I want to embrace the life that God has given me today, instead of choosing discontentment.

How do we learn this secret?  Sometimes it's easier said than done, but here are several ways to embrace today:

 Remember Who God Is

In my first grade Sunday School class, we've been learning some of the names of God.  It has been so incredible to meditate on what His names tell us about Him.  The last couple weeks, we've been learning that God is Jehovah Jireh.  He is our God who provides.  We can trust that God is going to give us every single thing we need.  For me, this is hard when I look around and see people who are enjoying a season of life that I wish I could have.  But that season is not what God has given me, so it's not what I need right now.  And during this season that I'm in, He is going to be enough to satisfy my desires and provide for my needs.  I have a sign in my kitchen that says, "And if not, He is still good."  Even if He chooses not to give me what I long for, He is always, always good.

Remember the Gospel

I've been challenged lately to preach the Gospel to my heart every day.  Because of what Jesus did for us on the cross, our biggest need has been taken care of.  No matter how hard life is, if we have trusted Christ for salvation, we have fellowship with the Creator of the universe.  We know that someday, we will live with Him forever and He will wipe away every tear.  That is what should bring comfort to our hearts during the hardest days.  And that truth will motivate us to embrace today, trusting that He is going to use it for good.

 Serve Others 

It's hard to sit around and complain about life if you're serving others out of a heart of love.  God has called us to put aside our own desires and needs in order to serve those around us - especially our brothers and sisters in Christ.  Choosing to trust that God is going to provide for our needs will free us to focus on showing love to others.  I've been challenged lately to serve joyfully even when I don't feel like it, and to make sure that my service is done in love.  I've found that my love isn't sufficient. I may serve, but I'm tempted to do it with a complaining heart or a proud attitude.  I've been asking God to change my heart and give me His love for those around me.  Embracing the life I have now means embracing and serving those that God has put in my path, and doing it with a loving heart.

Be Thankful

God has called us to be thankful in every circumstance. No matter what is going on in life, we can choose thankfulness.  This means taking our eyes off of our difficulties and putting them on our Savior.  When we get lost in how beautiful and glorious He is, we won't be able to keep from praising Him.  Our hearts will be filled with thankfulness for Who He is and what He has done.

So let's embrace the gift that today is, resting in Who God is and what He has done, and serving others with a thankful, joyful heart.  Because His mercy is new every morning, this is how we can live.  

Though You Slay Me

This song has been on repeat lately.  I've been seeing God answer my prayers that He would help me to be broken before Him.  He's answering the prayer that He would do His work in my heart - no matter what it takes.

In the midst of lost dreams and unfulfilled longings, I've been discovering joy that I couldn't even imagine.  It's a struggle to fight the lies and refuse to give in to bitterness.  But in the middle of it all, God is showing me His love and faithfulness.

From a human perspective, it doesn't make sense how someone could have joy while experiencing hard things.  But that does happen, as soon as we begin to value Him above everything and everyone else.

The first prayer in the book The Valley of Vision says it better than I could:

Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.
Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty
thy glory in my valley.

If the valley is what it takes for me to know God better, than that's what I want.  I want to learn to exult in my Savior rather than finding comfort in my circumstances.


"Yet I will exult in the LORD,
I will rejoice in the God of my salvation."
Habakkuk 3:18

Five-Minute Friday: Lose

Letting go of dreams is a hard thing.  The last several months have involved watching a long-held dream die.  At first, I was in denial, hoping, dreaming that I could still get it back.  But now it's gone.

Losing this dream was difficult.  But it was also one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Though it I've learned (am learning) to trust my God and love Him more.

At the beginning of the process, I had to learn to trust that God's plan is best, even when I couldn't see it or feel it.  Even when I felt so strongly that my plan was better.

Now I'm being filled with joy as my dream is replaced with knowing my Savior better.  I'm finding that He truly has a better plan.

And even if I never find out the full reason for the loss of this dream, I can say with confidence that God is good.  I can rest in His sovereignty, knowing that He never, ever makes a mistake.

"Jesus I am resting, resting, in the joy of what Thou art!  I am finding out the greatness of Thy loving heart!" 

Jesus, may I trust You more and more!

Five Minute Friday: Miss

When I saw that the word for today is "miss", I immediately thought of what lots of little people call me . . . Miss Mandy.

I love being Miss Mandy.  I love that I get to invest in the lives of little ones.  These kiddos bring so much joy to my life and teach me more than I will ever teach them.

I love it when they see me and their faces light up and I hear "Hi Miss Mandy!"  I love it when they can't wait to tell me about their week and the exciting things they got to do or the things they accomplished.  I love hearing them pray.  Their child-like faith challenges me when they talk to God about whatever is on their minds, completely trusting that He is able to care for them.  I love seeing them develop hearts of compassion for those around them and around the world.

But it also makes me tremble.  I see kids every week who look up to me.  They trust me.  Am I truly living what I'm teaching them?  The way I follow Jesus matters, not just in my own life, but in theirs.  They are watching how I live, and if I walk away from the Truth or live in a way that dishonors God, they will notice.

I long for these little ones to know Jesus better and grow to love Him, and I never want to distract them from Him.  I desire to live in a way that shows them how amazing Jesus is and causes them to want to serve Him.

Only by His grace.

Five Minute Friday: Unite

"Teach me Your way, O LORD, that I may walk in Your truth; unite my heart to fear Your name."  Psalm 68:11

My heart is so easily distracted.  Fears, emotions, dreams, goals . . . all these things often take my focus off of God.

It is so easy to go my own way, not even trying to seek His way.  The temptation to listen to lies from the enemy is strong, and I forget to listen to and walk in His Truth.

In being distracted by all these things, some of which are good things, I look up and realize that I haven't been living my life in the fear of God.

I remember the story of Mary and Martha.  Martha was so distracted by so many things, like service and even her own emotions.  Mary chose to focus her heart on the Truth Jesus spoke.

Lord, let me be like Mary, refusing to be so distracted and instead choosing to listen to and follow You.  Unite my heart to fear Your name. 

". . .but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:42

"When You Don't Move the Mountains"

Broken dreams are hard.  It's part of life, but losing something you've been hoping for is never easy.
Recently life took an unexpected turn for me that meant giving up a dream I'd had for a long time.  Even though in the grand scheme of things, this loss is small, it still hurts pretty deeply at times.

I've noticed that I tend to respond to this hurt in two ways (and I go back and forth between these responses frequently).

My first response is to focus on the hurt.  I think about all the things that will never happen and how someone else will get what I always thought I would have.  I let the hurt build up until it overflows and I have an emotional melt-down or am tempted to become bitter.

The second response is to quick dream up a new dream to focus on.  Maybe if I replace the dream it won't hurt so bad . . .

As I was driving to class today listening to Lauren Daigle sing on the radio, I realized that maybe I have the wrong focus.
It's not wrong to hurt, and it's not wrong to have a new dream.

But what if Jesus wants me to fill the hole not with another dream, but with Himself?  What if He took this away so that I would look to Him for joy and life?  Running to Him for comfort has been a struggle.  I run to so many things before I go to Him.  Perhaps this loss of a dream is meant to help me see that only Jesus satisfies.

It's okay to hurt.  But it's not okay to stop trusting the One who knows all my hurts, loves me deeply, and has promised to work all things together for my good.

"Occasionally weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have." - John Piper

Five Minute Friday: Decide

There's nothing like a big decision to cause me anxiety.  And there are plenty of decisions to make in life, especially in the season I'm in right now.

Honestly, I'm not so great at decision making.  I overthink, worry, come to a conclusion, and then second guess myself, starting the process all over again.

Then the decision is made (finally) and I move on with life.  Until I look back and wonder if that was the right one.  What would have happened had I chosen the other option?  Did I ruin my life?

In the midst of anxiety, I need to remember two things:  God cares, and He's in control.  

When I'm worried and anxious, these verses bring so much comfort to my heart:

Lift up your eyes on high
And see who has created these stars,
The One who leads forth their host by number,
He calls them all by name;
Because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power,
Not one of them is missing.

 Why do you say, O Jacob, and assert, O Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
And the justice due me escapes the notice of my God”? 

 Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.

Isaiah 40:26-28

He knows the name of every single star and holds them up by His great power.  He didn't lose one on accident.  

He knows me.  He cares deeply about all the details of my life that confuse or hurt me.  He knows.

He is in control.  Even if I do make the wrong decision, He's still sovereign over my decisions and His plan will be accomplished.  I can't ruin His plan.

He cares.  He's in control.

Trophy of Grace

"Thy grace can melt the worst sinner, and I am as vile as he;
Yet Thou hast made me a monument of mercy,
A trophy of redeeming power . . ."
-Valley of Vision

In John 4, Jesus meets the woman at the well.  She was so covered in shame that she had to draw her water when no one else was around to see her.  But one day, she met Jesus.  He talked to her - a woman living in sin.  He saw her, loved her, and made her a trophy of His redeeming power.  Jesus offered her living water that truly satisfied.  He gave her life that was so much more abundant than anything could have imagined.  What grace!

She was changed that day, and she couldn't keep such grace to herself.  Because of her testimony, many came to know Jesus.  But what hit me as I read this passage was verse 42, when the people tell her that "It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves and know that this One is indeed the Savior of the world." 

She had become a trophy of His grace.  Not so that everyone could gaze at her, but so that they would look past her to the Savior.  They would see that He took a shame-filled sinner and gave her freedom and life, and they would look to Him to do the same for them.  They would be in awe of this Savior of the world.

I long for Jesus to make me a trophy of His grace.  I praise Him that He takes the vilest sinners and loves them, transforms them, and brings Himself glory through them. 

What a Savior! 

Quiet (Five-Minute-Friday)

I've always been a quiet person.  Sometimes that's the first thing someone will say about me after meeting me . . . "Wow, you're really quiet."  People sometimes assume that because I'm quiet, that I must really have that quiet and gentle spirit talked about in the Bible.

While I'd like to say that's true, I have to admit that sometimes my outward calm is just covering up the chaos in my heart.

Isaiah 30 describes God's people running to Egypt for refuge and help.  They run away from the God who delivered them from that place to begin with, seeing help from those who once enslaved them.

God tells them where their help lies.

For the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said: "You will be delivered by returning and resting; your strength will lie in quiet confidence. . . ." Isaiah 30:15

He tells them how to have a quiet heart, trusting in Him and finding true rest and peace in Him.

They refuse.

But yet, God in His mercy, waits for them.

I see myself in these people.  Running to anything and everything to satisfy the ache inside.  But I won't have a quiet heart until I find my confidence in the One who created my heart.

"Therefore the LORD is waiting to show you mercy, and is rising up to show you compassion, for the LORD is a just God. All who wait patiently for Him are happy." Isaiah 30:18

Broken

I know we've moved past posts about New Year's Resolutions and such.  But here's another one, even though we're getting close to being done with January.

Actually, it's not about resolutions.  For the most part, I've given up on resolutions; whether that's good or bad, I'm not sure.  I definitely think they have their place, and as believers we are to pursue holiness and determine in our hearts to walk in His ways.  I have found that I'm pretty terrible at keeping resolutions though, and end up feeling discouraged and defeated.

So this year, instead of having resolutions, I have a word of the year.

The word I chose to focus on this year is brokenness.

I know how to live a "perfect" Christian life.  I know the right Bible answers to give people and how to look like I have it all together.

But if I'm doing all the right things just to make myself look good to others, while ignoring the true condition of my heart, then I'm in a bad place.

Brokenness means being honest with God and with others.  It means being humble and admitting when I've disobeyed God and seeking His forgiveness and redemption and taking necessary steps of repentance.  It means asking others for help and accountability.

If I'm not willing to be broken, I won't experience the abundant life that Christ promises those who follow Him.  If I don't humble myself before God, I won't experience a close relationship with Him or true, sweet fellowship with other believers.

So my prayer for 2016 is that God would help me to be broken, and that through brokenness I would know Him better and walk in true holiness.

I recently finished reading Brokenness by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, and it has helped me better understand the biblical definition of brokenness, as well as it's importance in the life of a believer.  I would encourage you to read it if you get the chance!  You will be challenged as well as encouraged in your walk with God.

Do you have a word for this year?

Advent

I've always loved this Christmas season.  Every year on Thanksgiving day, my family gets out the Christmas music as soon as we start eating the pie.  It's a fun tradition that kicks off the holiday celebrations.

But this year I started getting curious about Advent.  Growing up we always just went straight from Thanksgiving to Christmas, but as I've researched what Advent is all about, I've realized that I've been missing out on a beautiful time to slow down and think about what all this celebration is really about.

Advent is a time to meditate about why the Son of God left heaven to be born as a baby in a stable.  I've heard the Christmas story so. many. times.  It's easy to just gloss over it and not really let the wonder of what God has done sink in.

Advent is for thinking about the years that God's people waited for Him to fulfill His promise and send a Savior.

It's a time to worship God because He is faithful and kept that promise.

Let's slow down this season and adore the One who came to earth as a baby so that He could save us from our sin. 

Me Ke Aloha: A Bittersweet Sixteen

 Please read this post and pray for this sweet girl to find a family before it's too late!



Me Ke Aloha: A Bittersweet Sixteen: A friend of mine recently contacted me.  She asked if I'd be willing to let her write an anonymous guest post on my blog.  I know this ...

Weary

Sometimes it's a crazy, fast-paced schedule that makes you weary.

Other times it's emotional pain that doesn't seem to be going away.  Or a struggle against a sin that is intense and leaves you wanting to just give up.

Maybe it's anxiety or loss of control or relationships that are broken.

There is much in this sin-cursed world that brings weariness to our souls.

But I think the biggest cause for weariness is not leaving all of those things in the hands of our faithful Creator.  It's forgetting that He is still good, still sovereign, still loving -- no matter what.

Not for a moment will He forsake those who are His.

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me-Not for a Moment by Meredith Andrews

Surrender

"Each strand of sorrow has a place within this tapestry of grace.  So through the trials I'll choose to say: 'Your perfect will in Your perfect way.'"

I was listening to the song "The Perfect Wisdom", and this line stood out to me.  Just yesterday God showed me how I've been responding to a particular difficulty that I'm going through by escaping.  Escaping into books, a dream world, sin - anything but running to the only One who can truly give me refuge.

In running to anything other than my Savior, I'm telling Him that I don't trust Him.  I'm telling Him that He made a mistake.  I'm telling Him that I deserve better. 

But He never makes a mistake!

His wisdom is perfect.  He is completely sovereign.  He is completely good.  The truth is that I deserve hell because of my sin, but He has rescued me from the kingdom of darkness and transferred me into His Kingdom.  He has given me everything I need for life and godliness.

Who am I to complain that life isn't going the way I wanted it to?

The only logical response is to humble myself before Him, trusting that He is using every circumstance to bring Himself glory and to make me like Him.

His plan is better than anything I could think up on my own, even when it doesn't feel like it.

And no matter what, He is good.



  

Dance

Back in April I went to Ecuador with my friend to teach English and visit the jungle.  The trip definitely had its challenges.  It stretched me and put me way out of my comfort zone, which is a good thing.

The most amazing part of that trip was staying with two girls named Elli and Lili.  These girls didn't speak English.  They didn't have a big fancy house.  But they had big hearts and love for Jesus.  They opened their home to my friend and me for that week.

It was awkward at first.  We spoke different languages, which obviously made communication a challenge.  But I think the fact that we had to work at communicating made us closer in the end.

One evening they decided we needed to learn to dance.  They turned on music and the salsa dancing lessons began.  My friend and I weren't any good at it, and Elli and Lili weren't afraid to tell us that . . . ;)

But as we danced around their small living room, we laughed until we cried.

The fellowship the four of us had as sisters in Christ was beautiful, even though we didn't speak the same language.

I left part of my heart in Ecuador.

But I still can't dance.