Five Minute Friday: Miss

When I saw that the word for today is "miss", I immediately thought of what lots of little people call me . . . Miss Mandy.

I love being Miss Mandy.  I love that I get to invest in the lives of little ones.  These kiddos bring so much joy to my life and teach me more than I will ever teach them.

I love it when they see me and their faces light up and I hear "Hi Miss Mandy!"  I love it when they can't wait to tell me about their week and the exciting things they got to do or the things they accomplished.  I love hearing them pray.  Their child-like faith challenges me when they talk to God about whatever is on their minds, completely trusting that He is able to care for them.  I love seeing them develop hearts of compassion for those around them and around the world.

But it also makes me tremble.  I see kids every week who look up to me.  They trust me.  Am I truly living what I'm teaching them?  The way I follow Jesus matters, not just in my own life, but in theirs.  They are watching how I live, and if I walk away from the Truth or live in a way that dishonors God, they will notice.

I long for these little ones to know Jesus better and grow to love Him, and I never want to distract them from Him.  I desire to live in a way that shows them how amazing Jesus is and causes them to want to serve Him.

Only by His grace.

Five Minute Friday: Unite

"Teach me Your way, O LORD, that I may walk in Your truth; unite my heart to fear Your name."  Psalm 68:11

My heart is so easily distracted.  Fears, emotions, dreams, goals . . . all these things often take my focus off of God.

It is so easy to go my own way, not even trying to seek His way.  The temptation to listen to lies from the enemy is strong, and I forget to listen to and walk in His Truth.

In being distracted by all these things, some of which are good things, I look up and realize that I haven't been living my life in the fear of God.

I remember the story of Mary and Martha.  Martha was so distracted by so many things, like service and even her own emotions.  Mary chose to focus her heart on the Truth Jesus spoke.

Lord, let me be like Mary, refusing to be so distracted and instead choosing to listen to and follow You.  Unite my heart to fear Your name. 

". . .but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:42

"When You Don't Move the Mountains"

Broken dreams are hard.  It's part of life, but losing something you've been hoping for is never easy.
Recently life took an unexpected turn for me that meant giving up a dream I'd had for a long time.  Even though in the grand scheme of things, this loss is small, it still hurts pretty deeply at times.

I've noticed that I tend to respond to this hurt in two ways (and I go back and forth between these responses frequently).

My first response is to focus on the hurt.  I think about all the things that will never happen and how someone else will get what I always thought I would have.  I let the hurt build up until it overflows and I have an emotional melt-down or am tempted to become bitter.

The second response is to quick dream up a new dream to focus on.  Maybe if I replace the dream it won't hurt so bad . . .

As I was driving to class today listening to Lauren Daigle sing on the radio, I realized that maybe I have the wrong focus.
It's not wrong to hurt, and it's not wrong to have a new dream.

But what if Jesus wants me to fill the hole not with another dream, but with Himself?  What if He took this away so that I would look to Him for joy and life?  Running to Him for comfort has been a struggle.  I run to so many things before I go to Him.  Perhaps this loss of a dream is meant to help me see that only Jesus satisfies.

It's okay to hurt.  But it's not okay to stop trusting the One who knows all my hurts, loves me deeply, and has promised to work all things together for my good.

"Occasionally weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have." - John Piper

Five Minute Friday: Decide

There's nothing like a big decision to cause me anxiety.  And there are plenty of decisions to make in life, especially in the season I'm in right now.

Honestly, I'm not so great at decision making.  I overthink, worry, come to a conclusion, and then second guess myself, starting the process all over again.

Then the decision is made (finally) and I move on with life.  Until I look back and wonder if that was the right one.  What would have happened had I chosen the other option?  Did I ruin my life?

In the midst of anxiety, I need to remember two things:  God cares, and He's in control.  

When I'm worried and anxious, these verses bring so much comfort to my heart:

Lift up your eyes on high
And see who has created these stars,
The One who leads forth their host by number,
He calls them all by name;
Because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power,
Not one of them is missing.

 Why do you say, O Jacob, and assert, O Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
And the justice due me escapes the notice of my God”? 

 Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired.
His understanding is inscrutable.

Isaiah 40:26-28

He knows the name of every single star and holds them up by His great power.  He didn't lose one on accident.  

He knows me.  He cares deeply about all the details of my life that confuse or hurt me.  He knows.

He is in control.  Even if I do make the wrong decision, He's still sovereign over my decisions and His plan will be accomplished.  I can't ruin His plan.

He cares.  He's in control.

Trophy of Grace

"Thy grace can melt the worst sinner, and I am as vile as he;
Yet Thou hast made me a monument of mercy,
A trophy of redeeming power . . ."
-Valley of Vision

In John 4, Jesus meets the woman at the well.  She was so covered in shame that she had to draw her water when no one else was around to see her.  But one day, she met Jesus.  He talked to her - a woman living in sin.  He saw her, loved her, and made her a trophy of His redeeming power.  Jesus offered her living water that truly satisfied.  He gave her life that was so much more abundant than anything could have imagined.  What grace!

She was changed that day, and she couldn't keep such grace to herself.  Because of her testimony, many came to know Jesus.  But what hit me as I read this passage was verse 42, when the people tell her that "It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves and know that this One is indeed the Savior of the world." 

She had become a trophy of His grace.  Not so that everyone could gaze at her, but so that they would look past her to the Savior.  They would see that He took a shame-filled sinner and gave her freedom and life, and they would look to Him to do the same for them.  They would be in awe of this Savior of the world.

I long for Jesus to make me a trophy of His grace.  I praise Him that He takes the vilest sinners and loves them, transforms them, and brings Himself glory through them. 

What a Savior! 

Quiet (Five-Minute-Friday)

I've always been a quiet person.  Sometimes that's the first thing someone will say about me after meeting me . . . "Wow, you're really quiet."  People sometimes assume that because I'm quiet, that I must really have that quiet and gentle spirit talked about in the Bible.

While I'd like to say that's true, I have to admit that sometimes my outward calm is just covering up the chaos in my heart.

Isaiah 30 describes God's people running to Egypt for refuge and help.  They run away from the God who delivered them from that place to begin with, seeing help from those who once enslaved them.

God tells them where their help lies.

For the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said: "You will be delivered by returning and resting; your strength will lie in quiet confidence. . . ." Isaiah 30:15

He tells them how to have a quiet heart, trusting in Him and finding true rest and peace in Him.

They refuse.

But yet, God in His mercy, waits for them.

I see myself in these people.  Running to anything and everything to satisfy the ache inside.  But I won't have a quiet heart until I find my confidence in the One who created my heart.

"Therefore the LORD is waiting to show you mercy, and is rising up to show you compassion, for the LORD is a just God. All who wait patiently for Him are happy." Isaiah 30:18

Broken

I know we've moved past posts about New Year's Resolutions and such.  But here's another one, even though we're getting close to being done with January.

Actually, it's not about resolutions.  For the most part, I've given up on resolutions; whether that's good or bad, I'm not sure.  I definitely think they have their place, and as believers we are to pursue holiness and determine in our hearts to walk in His ways.  I have found that I'm pretty terrible at keeping resolutions though, and end up feeling discouraged and defeated.

So this year, instead of having resolutions, I have a word of the year.

The word I chose to focus on this year is brokenness.

I know how to live a "perfect" Christian life.  I know the right Bible answers to give people and how to look like I have it all together.

But if I'm doing all the right things just to make myself look good to others, while ignoring the true condition of my heart, then I'm in a bad place.

Brokenness means being honest with God and with others.  It means being humble and admitting when I've disobeyed God and seeking His forgiveness and redemption and taking necessary steps of repentance.  It means asking others for help and accountability.

If I'm not willing to be broken, I won't experience the abundant life that Christ promises those who follow Him.  If I don't humble myself before God, I won't experience a close relationship with Him or true, sweet fellowship with other believers.

So my prayer for 2016 is that God would help me to be broken, and that through brokenness I would know Him better and walk in true holiness.

I recently finished reading Brokenness by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, and it has helped me better understand the biblical definition of brokenness, as well as it's importance in the life of a believer.  I would encourage you to read it if you get the chance!  You will be challenged as well as encouraged in your walk with God.

Do you have a word for this year?