Tuesday, April 12, 2016

"When You Don't Move the Mountains"

Broken dreams are hard.  It's part of life, but losing something you've been hoping for is never easy.
Recently life took an unexpected turn for me that meant giving up a dream I'd had for a long time.  Even though in the grand scheme of things, this loss is small, it still hurts pretty deeply at times.

I've noticed that I tend to respond to this hurt in two ways (and I go back and forth between these responses frequently).

My first response is to focus on the hurt.  I think about all the things that will never happen and how someone else will get what I always thought I would have.  I let the hurt build up until it overflows and I have an emotional melt-down or am tempted to become bitter.

The second response is to quick dream up a new dream to focus on.  Maybe if I replace the dream it won't hurt so bad . . .

As I was driving to class today listening to Lauren Daigle sing on the radio, I realized that maybe I have the wrong focus.
It's not wrong to hurt, and it's not wrong to have a new dream.

But what if Jesus wants me to fill the hole not with another dream, but with Himself?  What if He took this away so that I would look to Him for joy and life?  Running to Him for comfort has been a struggle.  I run to so many things before I go to Him.  Perhaps this loss of a dream is meant to help me see that only Jesus satisfies.

It's okay to hurt.  But it's not okay to stop trusting the One who knows all my hurts, loves me deeply, and has promised to work all things together for my good.

"Occasionally weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have." - John Piper

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