Overcome. That word used to fill me with motivation to do what it takes to fight sin and my flesh and live on fire for God! I resolved to do better and try harder. I would overcome.
But today when I read that word, I realized that Jesus already overcame, and trying to pull myself up to do something He already did is pointless.
The actual process of living out that victory that He won for me hasn't looked like I thought it would. Lately, it's looked like Him chipping away at my heart. He's tearing down things that I found my identity in. He's showing me my pride. He's letting me see where I have believed lies and had an incorrect view of Him. It doesn't feel a lot like overcoming.
But in the middle of all of that, He's showing me His love for me in a way I never knew before. And it's a pretty beautiful thing. Slowly but surely He's giving me love for Him that makes me want to live for Him because of how amazing He is, not so that I can somehow earn His favor or make myself look good.
Maybe brokenness has to come first. But since He already has overcome, I can rest in that and trust that He will finish His work in me.
But today when I read that word, I realized that Jesus already overcame, and trying to pull myself up to do something He already did is pointless.
The actual process of living out that victory that He won for me hasn't looked like I thought it would. Lately, it's looked like Him chipping away at my heart. He's tearing down things that I found my identity in. He's showing me my pride. He's letting me see where I have believed lies and had an incorrect view of Him. It doesn't feel a lot like overcoming.
But in the middle of all of that, He's showing me His love for me in a way I never knew before. And it's a pretty beautiful thing. Slowly but surely He's giving me love for Him that makes me want to live for Him because of how amazing He is, not so that I can somehow earn His favor or make myself look good.
Maybe brokenness has to come first. But since He already has overcome, I can rest in that and trust that He will finish His work in me.
4 comments:
Hi Mandy - I'm next door to you at #54 in the FMF linkup, and I'm very glad to be here visiting your site for (I think?) the first time. Your post made me think of a class I'm taking at my church right now, on exploring our past and our personal story and seeing how God is at work, restoring and healing. Like you, I see lies (some told by me, some told to me) being dismantled and being replaced by a desire to just live in His love without performance or facade. Blessings on your journey, and thanks for sharing a bit of it here. - Jeannie
This has been an ongoing learning process for me. Thankful for God's faithfulness to teach us.
Mandy, I hadn't seen you here for awhile. You've been missed, but you came right back with a powerful, impressive post.
God's been reshaping my image of myself as well. As pain and other stuff (did I REALLY need lymphoma along with pancreatic cancer???) constrain life, I find that my hopes and dreams burn all the brighter.
Illogical...but maybe they truly are God-given and not a reflection of ego, and He is telling me to hold on.
Perhaps for a miracle,or perhaps the mere act of holding on IS the miracle.
What do you think?
#1 at FMF this week.
https://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2017/10/your-dying-spouse-395-caregiver-to.html
Thanks, Andrew, for your kind words! I would say that holding on is the miracle. The work that God does in taking away the things that we cling to is sometimes so painful. But finding His love in the middle of it and holding on to Him, and realizing that He's holding on to us (if we belong to Him) is a miracle. Praying you find His love sweeter every day!
Amber and Jeannie, thanks for stopping by! It's so amazing to be able to hear what God is teaching other believers and be encouraged by each other.
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